In Texas

There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist.
Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled
the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted
most of the congregation considerably, both male and female.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had
to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So,
one of the ladies approached her, very discreetly, and told her to
mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her
breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She warned her to not eat
any of the green persimmons, 'because they are so sour they will make
your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a
week! The perky organist agreed to try rubbing the persimmons on her
nipples.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and
said...."Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not haff a
thermon tewday."