Having “fun” with words!

SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
Blind man driving.
 
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
 
In a Podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels.
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.
 
On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
 
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
 
On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.
 
In a Non-smoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.
 
On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push.
 
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
 
At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
 
In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully. We'll wait.
 
At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank Heaven for little grills.
 
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.
 
And the best one for last:
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises