A Lexophiles Delight

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu—the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding—a case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia —the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted—taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.